Trepidations

I've been experiencing dreams I don't like, nightmares of windshields and screeching tires or seat belts that don't work. Brought on by drivers education classes for my oldest. He is of age to get a license so when he finishes and gets a waiver he can very well have his license next week.

Friends who were in car accidents are too numerous for the law of averages. The theory I hold on to is that the town was on too accurate of an east west grid. Sunset and sunrise were blinding times to be on the road. Add on small town life livened up by a party school Jr. College and we're talking trouble.

I knew a host of teenagers killed too soon or injured due to accidents. It creeps me out a bit.
-My brother's friend who had to have his jaw wired shut at 17 due to a roll over.
-A couple of friends going over the hood of a driver who didn't even see them on their motorcycle. They hit the curb on the other side. One was in a coma and passed away the next year, the other recovered.
-The brother of a friend crushed in his car as he did a head on with a pick up. He was driving too fast after a party in the country. The fragility of the car plus the speed left no chance.
-Another friends sister in a head on with a drunk driver before I even knew of her existence. An odd revealing moment when I found out there used to be three children instead of two.
-A young co-worker driving home in the morning, a man had a heart attack, met his car head on just as he was clearing construction and killed him.
-A 15 year old cousin in a car driven by someone else who rolled the car in a ditch on a country road.

I think of my own stupidity, leaning down to grab a cassette off the floor, watching the dirt fly up behind me as I try to get back on the road.

The bad boyfriend who buried the speedometer because he was being pissy with everyone. The car was old and floated at the front. The only time it slowed down was when we went up a slight rise.

Sitting in the back seat of the hot red car with the t-tops off going 125 because they wanted pancakes NOW.

Getting stuck because the girl wanted to test out her new four wheel drive. She went right into a shallow ditch and stopped just short of the hill behind it. We got out, luckily.

Getting mud in a friend's mothers SUV because we went too far out on an inlet at the lake. The only way to get out was to back up. It had been raining all week, he couldn't see out and had to unroll the windows. It was such a tight squeeze he asked everyone but one other passenger to get out because he was uncertain if he was going to slide off into the lake. The other passenger watched the other side to tell him if he got too close.

Letting my fifteen year old friend drive in the country. We fish tailed around a corner and headed for the deep ditch before she found the brakes. I took the wheel position back.

Trying to do a 'Y' turn on a mountain outlook almost getting hit by a car going the other way. It saw us just in time as it came around the corner.

I know teenagers do stupid things. It's part of being a teenager. My husband tells me about the stupid things he and his friends did and I review the stupid things I did. And that makes me worried.

I think about the moment of inattention my oldest had while driving a go cart when he was four. He ran right into a wall. Even with the seat belt and padded steering wheel, his appliance replacing his front teeth made his gums bleed. I find more reason to worry.

I take comfort in the fact that he's a good kid. He's a smart kid. He'll know the rules of the road.

But I'm still going to worry.