Monday, August 22, 2011


In my profile I speak of land minds littering my familial relationships.

My brother is in an abusive relationship. He leaves, she behaves and does all the right things so he goes back. Then she slides right back into the abusive behavior. To say the whole relationship is complicated would be an understatement of English proportions. He is isolated. The life line my mom, sister and I try to throw out is difficult for him to catch. Sometimes I want to yell at him "JUST FREAKING GET A DAMN CLUE!" But I don't because I know that's not useful and wouldn't help him. It would make me feel better but it certainly wouldn't help anyone else. Her father died last week. He was a man who was worked to death trying to support his hoarding wife.

My husband's aunt is generous, loving and supportive. She also likes to tell people how to do things. If you don't do it her way your crazy because her way is the best way. Your crazy, stupid and lack common sense if you don't do it her way. She's over bearing about her way. She's been giving me advice on how to get a job. Such as, call this place that I've already put an application in and tell them you've put an application in, any openings. Say it just like that with confidence. Anyone who is looking for a job in this day and age knows what the answer will be. Anyone who is looking for a job today knows that it is highly unlikely that the manager's bull dog answering the phone will let you anywhere near the manager's ear. It's a don't call me, we'll call you situation out there now a days. I KNOW this and I called anyway. I got the answer I was expecting. Many applicants, manager doesn't have time, we'll review applications and get back to those applicants with the experience we deem necessary.

I tried engaging this aunt on a level that has nothing to do giving me advice on how to live my life. She couldn't do it, she can't talk to me unless she's trying to sell me something or tell me how I should do things.

My brother in law has throat cancer. It's a rare type. I don't know how treatable it is. I want to be there for my sister and help her out but I think I'd get in the way more than anything. When she is upset she overwhelms herself with things to do so she doesn't have to think about crap. He has four brothers and sisters living in the area. His mom has Alzheimer's and his dad has heart problems.

The oldest can't find his favorite hoodie. He's so sure he wore it back from camp. We have looked for a month. It's just not here.

This morning, youngest couldn't find his tennis shoes. Another screw tightens.

Today I had a fight with my husband. He's stressed out at work, I'm stressed out at home. He stepped on a land mind and I went boom. I yelled at him the entire way back to his work from lunch. My cup runneth over with people who want to tell me how to live my life and I burst like Violet the Blueberry. 

I need a vacation from everyone.

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